Snakes On A Pla...Bike??

I ride bikes a lot. Riding bikes comes with many risks such as; the lady who almost ran me over last week, bees flying down your jersey, rocks to the face, weird tan lines, dogs chasing you, moose chasing you, other cyclists, broken glass, disabling cramps, examples of how gravity works, and a broke pocket book (I've experienced all of these). You would think that after a while you run out of new scenarios while riding a bicycle, but this is not true. Each ride is unique. Each time you ride a hill you are the only cyclist that will ever get to experience that ride. There will never be another one that is the same. Now imagine that for thousands of miles, mind blowing right? Well I had another one of those mind blowing experiences this past week that I have to share with the world.

It was a hot Tuesday afternoon, I had just got off work and was beginning my 6.2 mile commute back home. I hadn’t made it more than ¼ of a mile from my work place when I spotted a two foot snake on the road. He happened to be in the path of my trajectory. I was tired and not wanting to accommodate for a mere snake in my way so I veered slightly to the right thinking he would stop his risky slither across the boiling tar and gravel. As I approached the snake at a speed of about 20mph I realized he wasn’t going to stop and I quickly brake checked and attempted to veer further right. As I did that, the snake had his own idea of how to evade me. What follows is a dialogue of what was likely going through my head and the snake's head:

Snake: Stupid cyclist going so fast and won’t even move over.

Me: It's so hot. I'm hungry. Oh hey, a snake in the road, he'll stop.

Snake: I’m not stopping, this asphalt is scalding my scales. I see a hole in those wheels, I can make it.

Me: He’s not stopping. Is he going to try and go…

Snake: Here goes nothing!

Me: Aaaaaaah Nasty!!! 

Essentially, this two foot snake attempted to nutmeg me via the spokes of my bicycle. This ended very badly for him and very messy/sticky for me. As he stuck his nose in my spokes he was sucked into my wheel like a spinning vortex. He quickly went around and around and around. Each time, he became a little shorter. Each time he went around I became a little less clean. I slammed my brakes as hard as I could without making myself endo and came to a halting stop. I attempted to pick as many pieces of snake off of me and my bike and continued my ride home. Like I said, each ride is unique and no other rider will ever experience that ride. I mean seriously, that’s not even possible, that snake got shredded. Lesson learned: Wildlife typically wins in a dual. 

This isn't me of course, but I thought it was pretty wild and fitting for the topic at hand.